Absolute crap [AHhh fresh meat!]

yes this thread is an absolute 100% pure spam crap. this forum needs more spices and posts.

pretty girls peektures can only make me drool for that long then it gets a bit boring =\

huhu ~ im totally agree wif u =x

so then, pls post your first crap in =) haha! or u wan me to post a couple of them~ that will be quite lame and funny though~

For safety purposes, I AM NOT responsible on teaching young kids vulgar words as there are some vulgar words in these jokes. Have a nice day.

(1) Three kids come down to the kitchen and sit around the breakfast table. The mother asks the oldest boy what he’d like to eat. "I’ll have some fuckin’ French toast," he says. The mother is outraged at his language, hits him, and sends him upstairs. She asks the middle child what he wants. "Well, I guess that leaves more fuckin’ French toast for me," he says. She is livid, smacks him, and sends him away. Finally she asks the youngest son what he wants for breakfast. "I don’t know," he says meekly, "but I definitely don’t want the fuckin’ French toast."


(2) Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He goes: "Not in a row!"


(3) Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas."
He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"

(4) My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.


(5) Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says


(6) Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."

(7) Two old ladies are in a restaurant. One complains, "You know, the food here is just terrible." The other shakes her head and adds, "And such small portions."
*Basically if you dont get it, it means that the first lady already says it tasted terrible, and the second lady still complin its still small portion, such an idiot, asking a big portion of shity food~ haha!*

( 8 ) I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me "what do you do at a red light?" I said, I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio…

(9) My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.

(10) A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"

(11) I was coming back from Canada, driving through Customs, and the guy asked "Do you have any firearms with you?" I said: "What do you need?


Most of the jokes are really "zha dao"~ haha~

x 10 times for the jokes...more random items pls!

peektures,jokes,news, anything la =x

panjangnya malas wan read
Post baby face pic

-_- dun tor ngor lok sui !

bila ang minat bang bang tang de?
LOL

why suddenly say i minat bang bang tang?

yalo funny,why u say ryuji minat bang2 tang?

:craps:
I think that I'm a chicken..(lame joke)

Panda Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

cos ang avatar is bang bang tang background? n that is wang zi?
lol

yes mehs?
i think no narhs~ ini picture is my fren worhs @_@!!
he ngam ngam upload ini new picture in frenster arh @_@!!

aiya bang bang tang la tu
watch till sien liao

ooo.. cheh~ i thought is him lai de tim.. mana ada malaysian so yeng zai de.. ish ish~ i wan find new picture upload d.. ngek ngek~

use ur own pic la
paling yeng in malaysia
L O L

agree!

real peekture pl0x!

lols that power ranger is so...


p/s: yay ryuji! upload ur pic as disply pickture ^^

ace wrote:

kns u..tiba2 call out powder ranger pulak =.=

Sorry kids barney and frens got pwned

ZOMGWTFBBQ!! Once I see itu barney picture, i got this weird feeling =_=!! Dont dare to see, kinda horror ~_~

ahh? my picture? wait after cny la.. i lazy wanna upload it from camera to comp xD
hehe~

very very bad photochopped skills.

-10/10

wahahahahaha!! the grandma so geng! hit until airbag come out! A must watch stupid clip xD


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZCoIege8oM

@.@ damn dat grandma's strong. uhm. here's a vid a fren of mine asked me to watch. i find it kinda funny.